


Zeke's Choice

by Interstella



Series: Nexis [2]
Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Nexis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-03
Updated: 2018-10-03
Packaged: 2019-07-24 12:00:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16174652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Interstella/pseuds/Interstella
Summary: He was Zack Strife. And he was finally going to live up to his name.A retelling of the penultimate chapter of my story 'To the Morrow, For the Past' from the perspective of Zeke. This story contains massive spoilers for end of the first story in the Nexis series.





	Zeke's Choice

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers for the ending of To the Morrow, For the Past. Please be sure to read that first, or none of this will make any sense.

The first thing he noticed that morning was silence. The kind of deafening silence that takes a minute to realise that it's there, the absence of sound that had been around for so long that it had become a part of the surroundings. But silence it was.

Confusion set in at first. He could still hear the general noises of the city below him, the sounds of the apartment and he could even hear the shuffling of Zack getting ready for the day. But there was still something missing. Something in his mind. Somehow, he could hear the silence.

The whispers were gone. For all of his life, he had heard them in the back of his mind, curling around his senses like a backdrop in his life. But today... today they were gone and more than anything he'd ever been through, that was what frightened him the most. An intrinsic part of him was simply missing, and he didn't know why.

But he didn't let Zack know, didn't tell Sephiroth. They had a big day ahead of them, and he was going to be there to help out. He could figure things out after their job was done. Until then, he would push the worry away and not let it bother him. He had to be strong, at least for today.

Zeke climbed out of his bed and picked through his clothing, choosing a simple black shirt and dark trousers. He needed something he could move in, something that wouldn't impede on his ability to fight. But he also wanted something that wouldn't show blood if he happened to get any on him. There was the distinct possibility of bloodshed today.

Joining Zack in the kitchen, he forced himself to eat. He needed his strength today, regardless of how his stomach was rolling. If Zack noticed his odd mood, he didn't say anything, probably putting it down to a nervousness that matched his own.

“You ready for today?” Zack asked, dropping down into a squat, using it as an outlet for his anxiety about their mission.

Zeke nodded, giving his friend a smile. He drew on the training that Vincent had given him, the ability to show emotions that he didn't feel, to hide the ones he did. It was an invaluable skill when it came to an infiltrator and for the first time in his life, Zeke was glad to have learned it.

“Great! Finish your breakfast and we'll go see Sephiroth.” Zack stood back up and fell down into another squat. Zeke knew that he would keep doing that until they were ready to go, until he had another outlet for his nervous energy.

Today was the day they were going to bring Shinra down.

– – – – – – – –

His job was perhaps the easiest of the four. While Sephiroth had to deal with the president, Zack was going to deal to Hojo (something that both himself and Sephiroth had wanted to do, but Zack had somehow managed to use _logic_ to make them agree to let him to do it). Aerith was organising the slum dwellers and blocking off the trains.

Zeke got the Turks.

He'd had to argue with both Sephiroth and Zack when he said he'd wanted to be involved. Neither of them had wanted to put him in any kind of danger, no matter how often he'd insisted that he could handle it. But eventually, they'd realised that they really would need his help. Somebody had to keep an eye on the Turks.

Officially, his job was simply to watch them, to report to Kunsel if any of them made a move. The idea was that if he wasn't the one keeping them back, he would be away from the worst of the danger. Obviously, Zeke had other ideas.

With Kunsel's help, he'd managed to corral the Turks into one room. As it turned out, Tseng was on Sephiroth's side, and because he was, so was Reno, and that meant Rude was too. Cissnei apparently followed Tseng, regardless of his mission, so the majority of the Turks were cooperating.

This made Zeke's mission easy. All he had to do was literally sit in a room with a bunch of people for ten minutes. One of the Turks tried to leave, only to be blocked at the exit by Tseng.

“What are you doing, Tseng?” He asked, hands moving to the twin guns on his hips, as if readying himself for a fight. Zeke pushed himself off the table he'd been sitting on, ready to summon his weapon if he was needed. He knew that Tseng could take care of himself, but that didn't mean that he wouldn't interfere if it came down to it.

“What I think is best.” Tseng answered him simply, not making any moves for a weapon. He looked calm, more calm than Zeke thought he should be, but then again, that was all a part of the training, wasn't it?

A tense moment passed before the unnamed Turk stepped back, his eyes never leaving Tseng. Slowly, the room relaxed, realising that there would be no need for combat.

In his pocket, Zeke's phone began to buzz. A quick look around the room told him that it would be safe enough for him to check it. Nobody was going to be able to attack him while he was briefly distracted. Pulling it from his pocket, he was relieved to see Zack's name on the caller ID. He flipped it open and lifted it to his ear, his eyes once again returning to their patrol of the room.

“It's done.” Zack sounded calm. For some reason, Zeke expected him to be more excited. They'd done it. Sure, there were a few loose ends to tidy up, but their mission was mostly done now.

Without replying, he shut his phone and gave a small nod to Tseng.

“It's done.” Tseng said, looking at his people. “Now is the time to leave if you wish to do so. Nobody will follow you.” He wasn't talking about the room. Turks didn't get to quit or retire, they were used until they were dead, or until they found a place to hide. But now.. Now Tseng was giving his people an out, a way to leave without consequences. It would be easy enough to accomplish, simply take note of those that left and have their files wiped.

But nobody left. They were stood there, in varying degrees of discomfort, but they all stayed. After a moment, Tseng gave a nod and stepped away from the door. After a beat, Zeke left, trusting Tseng to take care of his Turks.

– – – – – – – –

His next job was even more easy. He made his way down to the train station in the slums. Aerith would have received a call from Zack, but Zeke had been sent to make sure that she was alright, and the debrief the slum dwellers that had helped.

When that was done, he had some free time. Sephiroth still had a few things to do above the plate – something to do with paperwork, Zeke was sure – so Zeke decided to spend that time with Aerith. He always loved spending time with her.

“So... things are going to be different now, aren't they?” Aerith asked as she linked her arm with Zeke. Together, they walked slowly, casually, towards Sector 5.

“Yeah.” Zeke smiled down at his friend, wondering if she had always been so small. “I mean... Things'll get better, right? Sephiroth's going to stop the reactors. The Planet'll get better, wont it?”

Aerith's smile was so big and bright, full of joy and hope and Zeke was glad that he had been given the chance to meet her in person. She nodded at him, squeezing his arm tightly in hers. “It'll take a long time.” She told him, “And there will still be so much to do...”

Jenova's people were still coming. There was a chance that all the good things they'd done today wouldn't matter in the end. But Zeke knew one thing for sure.

“We'll figure it out.” It wasn't a platitude. It wasn't simply him saying what he hoped, or what he knew she needed to hear. It was what he honestly believed. Somehow, he knew it was true. They _would_ figure something out. The Planet _would_ get better.

They arrived at the church, and Aerith let go of Zeke to open the doors. As soon as she did so, she let out a loud gasp, her hands covering her mouth for a split second before she ran inside, Zeke close behind her heals. As soon as they were through the door, Zeke ran in front of her, his sword out and ready to protect her from whatever she'd seen inside, ready for whatever threat was waiting for them.

But it wasn't a threat. A familiar body lay in a heap before the flowers, his back to them. Aerith made to step forward, but Zeke held out his arm, holding her back. “Stay back.” He said quietly, warning her that it could be a trap. Once he was sure that she would follow his instruction, he slowly walked forward.

The closer he got to the prone body, the more and more familiar it became. Lying, unmoving on the floor of their most sacred place was the body of his long dead father.

His steps increased in speed as he began to run, throwing himself to his knees behind the man he'd missed so very much. His sword was banished and his hands reached forward, turning the man on to his back.

Cloud was breathing, his chest slowly rising and falling with each breath, but his eyes were closed. Reaching with a shaking hand, Zeke gestured for Aerith to join them, never once taking his eyes from the man now in his lap.

“Da...?” He asked quietly, suddenly feeling just how young he was. “Da?”

Aerith passed him, moving to kneel on the other side of Cloud. “He found his way home.” She said, relief and joy in her smile. She reached out, her hands far more steady than Zeke's, and gently placed a palm on Cloud's forehead. “He'll wake up soon.” She told Zeke quietly. She moved her hand to take a hold of Cloud's, and they sat there waiting.

Soon, Cloud began to move, his eyes flickering under their lids. Zeke shifted him slightly, his arm still under Cloud's neck but now in a more comfortable position for his father to wake up to. “Da...?” He said quietly, hoping that his voice would help Cloud find conciousness.

“Zeke...?” Blue eyes blinked open, looking up at him and Zeke couldn't help the grin that spread over his face.

“You came home.” He said to his father, not even bothering to hide the tears that were falling down his cheeks. “You're alive.”

“Welcome home, Cloud.” Aerith said from Cloud's other side.

– – – – – – – –

_'Apparently we're having a party. Zack insists that it's a good idea. You should come too. -S'_

Zeke looked down at the message on his phone. He wasn't really feeling up to a party. All he wanted to do was to spend time with his newly reincarnated father and one of their closest friends. But... they would probably want to know that Cloud was alive. He'd already been back a few hours now.

He shuffled a little to lean further into Cloud's side, realising that he couldn't keep him to himself for long. From what his father had told him, he'd only been able to come back because of both of them. Him, _and_ Sephiroth. Because he wasn't Cetra, he'd had trouble following just one connection back.

But he had been able to come back.

After another moment, Zeke sighed. “Dad... You should go see Sephiroth.” He said quietly, “He missed you so much...”

He could feel the hesitation. Cloud didn't want to leave him, but he also wanted to see Sephiroth, and he didn't know where he was needed most.

“Go.” Zeke said, pulling away and grinning at him. “You're back now. I can see you again later. But Sephiroth needs to know you're back. Zack too. They love you just as much as we do.”

On Cloud's other side, Aerith nodded. “We'll be here.” She told him, “I'll look after Zeke.” Zeke rolled his eyes at that one. He didn't need looking after, he was _ten_ already, and the slum dwellers all knew to leave him well enough alone. It wasn't like he couldn't take any of them down if he had to either. But he kept his mouth shut. Aerith had said what Cloud had needed to hear. That they would be safe, and that he could see them again later.

“Okay.” Cloud gave a nod and slowly stood, carefully making his way over the flowers towards the sword that stood proud. He stepped behind it and looked down at them, a soft smile on his face. “Thank you.”

Zeke knew that he wasn't just thanking them for being there when he woke up. He was thanking them for being there, waiting for him to wake up, spending time with him, letting him go to see Sephiroth. He was also thanking them for the Sword. For the physical memorial.

Zeke gave him a nod and watched as Cloud pulled the sword from the stone, fitting it easily in the harness on his back. Apparently the lifestream had sent him back exactly as he'd left, clothes and all.

– – – – – – – – – – –

He didn't see much of his father over the next few days. From what Zack had told him, Sephiroth had all but kidnapped him, keeping his hand hostage or something like that. It didn't bother Zeke over much. He would have time to spend with his father later.

Or... Maybe he wouldn't.

When he'd been in the church, he'd finally heard the whispers again. For a brief moment, his mind was once again filled with the voices of the lifestream, everything had felt right again. Until it built up, the whispers becoming louder and louder, until they came together to all but shout one sentence.

_'You are complete.'_

Three words, and then the deafening silence. He didn't react. Didn't show his confusion or his pain. He couldn't. His father had _just_ woke up, less than two minutes ago. He had to keep himself together, for him. Cloud was back. He was home, and he was safe. He was _alive_. Zeke wasn't going to ruin that moment. Not for something he could figure out for himself later.

But now it was later. Now he needed to figure out what was going on.

He knelt in front of the flowers, alone. Never before in his life had he felt so completely and utterly alone. Every day that he could remember, every single day of his life, he'd had the company of the whispers. But now...

He closed his eyes, hands clasped together in front of his chest. He'd seen Aerith sit like this before, whenever she'd spoken to the Planet. If it helped her reach out, maybe it would help him too? He just wanted the voices back. He wanted the comfort and the company. He wanted to feel _whole_ again.

What did the Planet mean, telling him that he was complete when he'd never felt so broken?

He heard the church doors open, and could sense his father approach. The soft footsteps came closer, and he found himself speaking without thinking about it.

“I can't hear her...” He couldn't stop the trembling in his voice, couldn't hide the fear. He opened his eyes and looked at his father, wanting his comfort, _needing_ him in a way he hadn't since he was very young. “Every day of my life, for as long as I can remember, I could hear her in the back of my mind.” He couldn't figure it out for himself. He was afraid, alone, he needed somebody to know. “A thousand whispers. Even when I shouldn't have been able to, even when Aerith had trouble and Jenova was shouting in my mind, I could still hear her...”

His heart was pounding, his eyes stinging. He swallowed, willing his voice to keep working for just a little longer. Saying it out loud... he realised just how afraid he was. It was as if a physical part of him had gone, disappeared suddenly and he didn't know how to fix things. He looked down at the flowers. They had once given him comfort, but now.. now they symbolised the Planet that had abandoned him.

“But since you came back,” he carried on, forcing himself to finish what he'd started, “my head's been silent. Nothing. Not a whisper.”

He felt strong arms circle him, pull him against a strong chest and he finally let himself break down, let the tears and the cries come. He took comfort in the arms of his father.

“What did Aerith say?” He was asked, and Zeke shook his head.

“I haven't told her.” How could he? Everything was going so well in the world. She was so happy that Cloud was back, that he and Sephiroth were finally close. She was relieved and optimistic about a better future for the Planet. “I... I'm afraid...” He balled his hands into fists around Cloud's shirt, holding on for dear life. He took a moment, forcing himself to calm down enough to speak again.

“I want to go to Lucrecia's cave.” It was a long shot but... “The Planet felt closer there...” Cloud seemed to understand. He nodded, giving Zeke another squeeze.

“Yeah,” Cloud's voice was soft, caring, loving. It was so very good to hear it again. “I'll arrange that.”

– – – – – – – – –

Cloud hadn't wanted to let him go on his own. It was obvious that the man was struggling with his desires to protect him, and to allow him his independence. He looked like he was battling himself, and reminding himself that Zeke had been fine without him for a year. Sephiroth had actually taken Zeke's side on it, allowing the boy to go without them and eventually talking Cloud into agreeing too.

Except... They sent a Second Class SOLDIER as his pilot. It was obviously some sort of compromise, but it worked for Zeke. The SOLDIER had been giving strict instructions to follow his orders, and Zeke would take what he could.

As soon as the helicopter landed, he gave his first order. “Stay here.”

Without waiting to see the pilot's response, Zeke left, jumping out of the vehicle and quickly making his way into the cave.

It was exactly the same as it always was. The eerie glow gave the cave a blue hue, light spreading from the crystals in the centre.

“Hello.” Zeke greeted Lucrecia quietly. He wasn't hear to talk to her, but it seemed rude not to at least greet her. He stepped towards her, stopping not far from the water surrounding her crystal. He fell to his knees, eyes closed and hands already clasped in front of him. “I need to speak to the Planet.” He didn't know why he was speaking out loud. It was unlikely that Lucrecia would listen to him anyway.

“But she doesn't want to talk to me...” He took a slow breath, letting the smell of stale mako invade his nostrils. “She told me I was complete.... I don't know...” He shook his head, reaching into his own mind, trying to find any hint of the whispers he so dearly missed.

“ _ **You will know...”**_

Zeke's eyes shot open to stare at Lucrecia. It had been her voice he'd heard. Not in his mind, but in his ears. She was speaking to him.

“ _ **You know... what you need to do... The light. The Holy. The Saviour. Sacrifice at worlds end.”**_

What was she...? What was Lucrecia saying? Holy? Were they supposed to use Holy? But holy consumed souls. Whoever used it, whoever summoned it, they would die. They wouldn't even be able to return to the Planet.

“You... Want us to use Holy?” He asked, trembling. For some reason, he knew. He knew that she was being truthful.

“ _ **I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. My Sephiroth. My son. It's within you. The power.”**_

He couldn’t take his eyes off the statuesque woman in front of him. She didn't move, her mouth remaining closed even as her voice spoke loud and clear, echoing in the chamber. She never had moved, Zeke knew that. But... But there was something happening. In front of the crystal the air was shimmering. If he looked closely... He could see her outline.

Slowly, it became more solid, shape becoming more defined. It was Lucrecia, standing ghost like in front of him. “I'm so sorry...” The voice was coming from the ghost now, her lips moving as the words formed. She stepped forward, and Zeke just watched her approach.

A cold hand, almost solid but not quite all there, gently cupped his cheek. “You know what you have to do. Your mission from the Planet...”

No. No. She couldn't mean what he thought she did, could she? There was no way!

“She gave you her power. As much of it as she could.” Tears fell from the ghost's eyes as she knelt down in front of Zack, her knees seeming to rest on the top of the water. She was the same height as him like this.

“That's... why I could always hear her...?” Zeke felt his voice falter, fading in volume until he couldn't say any more. He didn't have to. The vision before him knew what he was asking, and she gave a small nod.

The planet intended for him to die. For his soul to be used and consumed. It had _always_ planned for this. Had she sent Cloud to save him, simply so that he could be here, now? He'd been raised, lived for nine years in a world where there was no Jenova to block her influence on him. She had seen this coming, seen the day that the Jenovians would return, and she'd formulated a plan.

The plan that would mean his death.

His heart thudded in his chest, but for some reason, there was no fear. No despair. Just... Anger. He was angry, enraged. His entire life had been leading up to this. This was the only purpose he had. The Planet had needed a soldier and had chosen him. Had taken him from what would have been a life of hell and placed him somewhere safe. Somewhere he was loved, where he could grow. She'd put him in a time and a place where she could feed him her power until he had all that he needed.

He was supposed to summon Holy. Use it to trap the souls that were endangering the Planet. He was to be her saviour as he'd once thought of her as his.

The worst thing was, that Zeke wasn't even surprised. Somehow, he knew that he should have seen her plans coming, he should have known what was going to happen. He was sure that if he'd have listened, the whispers would have told him.

An almost warm feeling on his shoulders made him look up at the ghost of his mother, the woman who had birthed the other version of himself. She was trying to offer him comfort, trying to be the mother she had so completely failed to be. But it didn't work. It didn't help.

He pulled back from her. “That's what you meant... isn't it? When you said _'_ he will know when it is needed. The white of light, the end of life'...”

“He will know what to do, and where to go.” Lucrecia continued the prophecy, her voice quiet but strong. “He will know his journey must end....” She shook her head, still watching Zeke. “That's... what the Planet told me to say.” She said quietly, “It wasn't until you left that she told me what it meant... I-”

“It doesn't matter.” Zeke suddenly felt angry at her. He knew that it wasn't her fault, not this part. Not entirely. But maybe if she had been more of a mother. If she had fought for her son instead of just running away. Maybe if she had given them the lives that they could have had, the Planet wouldn't have chosen him. Wouldn't be forcing this fate on him.

No. She wasn't forcing it on him. She was telling him what his mission was. What he was supposed to do. What he had to do to save the world. But he could refuse. He was human, he had free will, he could tell the Planet to go fuck herself and walk away. She couldn't force him to summon Holy.

But then she would die. He would die. They would all die and the lifestream would become poisoned, would become corrupted or fade. Everything would die. And it would be his fault. He could have stopped it. If he walked away from his mission, the world ending would be his fault.

No. He couldn't do that. He couldn't let the entire planet die, just to save him. And if the Planet died, then there would be no lifestream anyway.

His choice was to sacrifice himself, to give up any hope of ever entering the lifestream, or to sacrifice the entire world to a slow, agonising death that would result in _nobody_ entering the lifestream.

“I know what I have to do.” Zeke said, hearing the determination in his own voice. He stood, looking at the pathetic ghost of the woman who could never be his mother. He pitied her. If she had been strong, she would have fought. She wouldn't have put herself here, locked herself in a cave of her own self pity. She couldn't even die. Briefly, he considered offering to take her with him, to bring her into Holy with him and give her the oblivion that she had so dearly craved.

But he couldn't. He didn't know what would happen to his soul. He didn't know if he would be aware within Holy or not. But one thing he did know was that he didn't want to spend eternity with this woman.

Without another word, he turned on his heel and marched out of the cave.

– – – – – – – – – – – –

For three days, Zeke thought about things, biding his time. He had an idea of what he had to do, but Jenova's people needed to be close enough for it to work. His plan needed to be done at the literal last minute, or it wouldn't work.

He only had three days. Three days left to live. There were so many things that he wanted to do before he died, and so many more things that he wasn't ready for. Things that he would never be old enough for. He would never fall in love, never have a lover. He would never get drunk, or learn how to drive. He would never get married, never have children. He would never- No. It wasn't good to think things like that.

He took a breath and let it out slowly, clearing his mind of his regrets. He couldn't have regrets. Not now. Now, he had to be focused. He had to keep his mind on his task. He had to remind himself _why_ he was doing this. Who he was doing it for.

For three days, he concentrated on the thoughts of what was needed. He focused on his plan, making sure that he would be able to do what he needed to, when it was needed. Until then... Until then, he needed his family to be okay.

His father had finally found someone to love. Someone who loved him more than life itself. It was a little strange, the fact that the man his father had fallen for was genetically identical to himself, but only an idiot wouldn't be able to see what was there.

Cloud was in love. He was happy. And for the first time since finding out what it was that he had to do, Zeke was glad that it was him who had to do it. Cloud had already sacrificed so much for the Planet. Even though this was going to hurt him, even though Cloud would lose part of his family, Cloud would live on. He would heal and he would love.

If Zeke didn't do what was needed, Cloud wouldn't lose his child right away. But eventually he would lose everything. No. It was better that it was only one person to die. One person to be lost, rather than them all.

– – – – – – – – –

He was reading a book when he felt it. The subtle change in the air around him that defied all description. He'd never felt it before, but he knew what it meant.

It was time.

Closing the book, he looked down at the bracer on his wrist, giving the materia equipped a visual check. After ensuring that it was the stone he needed, Zeke looked up. Aerith was tending to the flowers, paying no mind to her young friend sitting on the pews. At least her back was to him. He wouldn't have to see the look on her face when he did this. When he attacked her.

“I'm sorry.” He whispered. Before she could turn to enquire about his words, he fed power into the stone on his wrist and let loose the strongest sleep spell he could.

She dropped like a stone, the spell taking an instant effect. Swallowing down the disgust he felt in himself, Zeke stepped forward. He gently turned her into the recovery position, just in case, before deftly removing the ribbon from her hair. He took the materia that she'd had hidden there, and held it in front of him, looking closely at the small orb.

This was it. This was Holy. The white of light. The end of life. The small, shining crystal was going let him save the world. It would let him protect the people he loved, to ensure the survival of the lifestream so that they could all be together one day. This marble was going to be the thing that killed him.

Swallowing, he looked down at the sleeping Aerith and gave a silent prayer for her forgiveness.

– – – – – – – – – –

He managed to make his way to the roof without anybody stopping him. Why would they? It was well known that he was close to all three First Class SOLDIERs. In the week since Sephiroth had taken over, he'd been able to go anywhere he wanted to without any issue.

If they had known what he was about to do, would they have stopped him? Or would they have cheered him forward? Not that it mattered. His mind was made up. He knew what he had to do, and why he had to do it. Nothing was going to stop him now.

He stepped forward, towards the edge of the building. Looking down, he could see the city below him. He was too high up to see the people, even with his enhanced vision, but he knew they were there. Anonymously moving about their daily lives, not even knowing how close they were to the end of their world. He was doing it for them.

Above him, the sky was growing darker, the bright specks of the Jenovians visible even in the dying light.

Taking another breath, Zeke took in the air, made an effort to allow all his senses to take everything in. From the stale mako scent of the air, to the soft wind on his face. He wanted to feel it all, to remember it while he could. This was the world he was saving.

In one hand, he held the orb that was so tightly tied to his fate, and the other reached up, removing the hat that had sat on his head for over a year now. He let the wind play with his hair, taking in the sensation for a moment before letting the hat go. He watched it fall, the wind picking it up enough to keep it aloft for a moment before it slowly fell.

Next, he reached his hands to his face, removing the contact lenses that had hidden his eyes for so long. If he was going to die, he was going to go as himself. No more hiding.

He was Zack Strife. And he was finally living up to his name.

With a final look around, he decided he was ready. Turning, he faced the door to the roof and stepped back until he was on the edge of the building. Closing his eyes, he reached deep within him, allowing himself to use an instinct he'd hidden away from for his entire life. He felt the connection to the others, to the Jenovians in the sky and to the men a few floors below him. After a moment of feeling it, he gave them a little tug.

Then another.

“Come to me.” He ordered, voicing his demands. “Gather together and come. Our Reunion is at hand.” Verbally, psychically, he called upon the Jenovians most core instinct.

He could feel it, when they answered. He could feel the rush, the sense of belonging as the instinct kicked in. It sickened him, just how right it felt. It was almost like this was how things were supposed to be. But he resisted that feeling, knowing that it was coming from the Jenova cells in his DNA. Jenova's memetic legacy.

The door in front of him burst open and he both heard and felt people arrive. Sephiroth and Cloud had heeded his call, they had answered to his reunion. The anxiety and regret that he'd expected to feel weren't there. He had thought that he would feel guilty, feel anxious about his family's reactions but it wasn't there. He was calm. Almost numb.

He knew what he had to do. He knew why he had to do it. He was almost at peace with it.

Almost.

Opening his eyes, he looked at them. His father, Sephiroth, Zack, they were staring at him afraid and confused.

“There was a play I went to once.” Cid had taken him, saying something about him having to experience culture or something. The pilot hadn't seemed to be overly interested in it, and at the time, that had seemed to be the point.

He'd actually enjoyed it. The poetry was beautiful and wide open for interpretation. The version they had gone to had had three endings. Apparently there was no official one, and that had been symbolic to him. There was no ending, because nobody could ever know how things were going to end.

But he did. He knew how his story was going to end.

“ _When the war of the beasts brings about the worlds end, the goddess descends from the sky.”_ Why did it seem so fitting now? The next part, he could remember that would be fitting too, but he couldn't remember the words. “But I could never remember the next part...” He was going to die, and he would never remember the next lines. It seemed like such a strange, trivial thing to be upset about at the end of everything. There were so many things the he would never do, so many things that he would never remember. So why was it this that was bugging him? “I wish I could remember the next part...” Maybe if he did, this wouldn't be so hard. He could feel like at least one thing in his life had been completed. “It's been driving me mad.”

He didn't expect a response, didn't expect a reaction. Apparently monologuing was in his genetics. Hadn't Cloud said something about Sephiroth monologuing before their final battles? He almost wanted to laugh at that thought, but he found he couldn't.

“ _Wings of light and dark spread afar, she guides us to bliss, her gift everlasting.”_ He didn't expect an answer, but Sephiroth gave him one anyway. He must have looked surprised that the man knew the words, because he reached out, stepping towards Zeke.

“Don't!” No. If he came close, he might take him with him. He didn't know exactly how Holy worked, but he couldn't risk it. Couldn't take anyone with him. “Don't come any closer.”

Sephiroth stopped and Zeke relaxed a little. He refused to put anybody else in danger. This was his mission, one he had to complete alone.

“The play is called Loveless.” Sephiroth said, dropping his hand. “An old... friend of mine used to repeat it incessantly...” That explained how Sephiroth remembered it. If something was repeated often enough, anybody would learn it. “I can teach it to you.” Sephiroth was offering, “All of it.” He sounded desperate, and Zeke hated that. He hated the pain he could see on the man's face. “If you'll come away from the edge.”

Sephiroth wanted to save him. To protect him. This man, this man who had loved him, cared for him, _adopted_ him was now hurting because of him. He almost wavered, but he wouldn't let himself. He had to do this. Didn't they understand that? He wasn't suicidal, he didn't _want_ to die.

He took a half step back, his heels hanging over the edge. “I have to do this.” He needed them to know, even if he couldn't get them to understand, at least they had to know. “I know what I have to do now.”

“Zack...” His father was talking to him now, and he turned his head to look at him. There was confusion and fear in his eyes, his voice cracking with pain. “You're calling for us...”

No. No he wasn't. He just didn't know how to call the Jenovians without calling his family too. He had never been taught about this, never been told how it works or how to use it. The closest thing he had was his connection to the Planet. Being able to pull on the strings that connected them to hear her more clearly. But she wasn't talking to him now. She was silent, hiding herself from him.

“Do you know what the last thing she said to me was?” He asked rhetorically. He answered himself before anybody could try, “You are _complete_.” He couldn't help the bitter laugh that left his throat. His entire life, she had been there. He thought she'd been trying to comfort him, to be a part of him. Where in reality, she'd been doing nothing but preparing him for this day. “You are complete. Then _nothing!_ Even when I went to Lucrecia's cave, I couldn't hear her. I couldn't hear anything. And then...” He briefly contemplated telling them about his conversation with Lucrecia, but realised he didn't have the time. His time was quickly running out and he had so much more to say. But the Jenovians were nearly here. It was nearly time. “And then I knew what I had to do.”

He lifted his arms to his side, his head raising to the darkening sky. “I wasn't calling to you.” He told his father, his voice quiet for a moment. “I was calling _them_!” He needed them to understand, to know that he wasn't doing this to kill himself, but to _save_ his family. Everyone he loved and everyone who loved them.

“What are you planning!?” Zack shouted at him, voice confused and distraught. “To call them down so they can get here faster? We can't let them die here!”

No. They couldn't. That was what all this was about. Holy consumed souls. The caster's soul. But it also consumed the body and everything in it.

“I know what I have to do. _'He will know when it is needed. The white of light, the end of life. He will know what to do and where to go. He will know his journey must end.'_ ” He quoted, remembering those words clearly now. It made sense. He did know. He knew what he needed to do. He knew where he needed to go. It wasn't a physical place. It wasn't really a place at all. But he still had to go there. And that would put an end to his journey. He would never move again within the lifestream, never be reborn into new life. The journey of thousands of years, hundreds of lifetimes would come to an end with him.

“Every day of my life has been leading to this. Every day of my life, the Planet has been giving me her power, trickling it into me so that it filled my every cell. Every day of my damn _life,_ the Planet has been moulding me into what she needed....”

He had believed that she had made Cloud save him so that he could live a better life. So that he could be happy and loved. But the Planet didn't work that way. His life was insignificant to her, except for the fact that he was genetically compatible with her. That she could give him her power far more easily and efficiently than she could with a non Cetra.

“I thought she was benevolent, that she cared for all the creatures on her surface... And she does...” That was probably the hardest thing for him to realise. In one way, the Planet really did care. But only in so much as she needed their energy. She needed them to live so they could die. “But what is the life and soul of one in comparison to everything else? Sacrifice one to save them all... She knew that this was going to happen. That's why I was saved. That's why I've been brought here...”

Aerith had finally found her way to them. He didn't want her there. To see what was going to happen. To know. She was the only one who truly understood what he was about to do, who truly understood what fate he was facing.

“Zeke...” She spoke his name so softly, so full of love. So full of fear. “Don't do this...” She joined the others, standing by them but not taking another step forward. She was too smart for that. “It will consume you...”

He knew that. That was the point. He gave her a sad smile, a smile of love, of loss, of goodbye. “I know.” He told her, meaning it completely. He spoke quietly, his love for her, for his family almost breaking him. “And it's going to be worse for you than it is for me.” Or at least, he hoped it would. He didn't know exactly what was going to happen to him after this, but from what he gathered, he'd simply stop existing. Holy _consumed_ a soul. Used it to power the spell. After this... “When it's done... I won't exist anymore... and it's you who'll have to face that.” After all, how could he hurt if he was no longer aware?

But his family... they would know. They would survive, keep living without him. He remembered the fear, the pain, the hopelessness when Cloud had died. He remembered that as the worst time in his life. And he was forcing them to go through it again, with him. At least when Cloud had died, he knew that he'd see his father again in the lifestream. They didn't even get that comfort. It was going to be hard for them, it was going to hurt. It might even break them.

But he still had to do it. He still had to, because even if it broke all of them, that was only four people. Four people out of the entire world.

His fingers reflexively tightened with that thought, and he was reminded of the small crystal he was holding. He looked down at it for a moment, solidifying his resolve before lifting his head. No matter what, he had to do this. He couldn't back down now. If he did, the end of the world would be his fault.

He looked at the people in front of him, all of them looking so hurt, so broken, so helpless. It was almost enough to stop him. “I love you.” He told them all, taking this last chance to say those words that were never said enough. He knew they knew. How could they not? But he still had to say it.

“And I'm sorry.”

Now. It had to be now. They were almost here. There was so much more he wanted to tell his family, so much more he wanted to say. But he was out of time. They were out of time. He gave in to instinct now, letting his body do what it needed to to get close to the creatures coming. There were more of them in the sky than there were on the rooftop, and giving himself over was easy.

Vaguely, he was aware of an ache in his back, a deep pain that seemed to go down to the very bone, and then he was in the sky. His eyes were closed, and he kept them that way. He had to. He couldn't watch his family watch him die. No matter how strong his resolve, even he wouldn't be able to deal with that.

His feet were dangling below him, Holy in his hand. He held it in front of his chest and turned his concentration towards it.

It was strange. Most materia felt like you were drawing _from_ it. Pushing something _out_. But Holy... Holy felt like it was pulling him _in._ No. Not yet. It wasn't quite time yet. He had to finish his reunion first. They were coming, sinking into his skin to try to gather, to get as close to each of those cells as they could. He could see them in his mind, trying to merge with him.

 _I see them. I'll bring them to you._ He mentally told Holy. _They're within me now. They can't escape. They can't hurt anyone anymore._

_The time is now. Take me. Take them. Consume us!_

A warmth surrounded him, the wind dying down to nothing and he finally opened his eyes.

– – – – – – –

He found himself in a world of white, soft, familiar flowers bending beneath his boots. There was no wind, the air didn't move, even as he stepped forward. The silence of the place was almost deafening, both outside himself and within. He was alone. Completely and utterly alone. No Planet in his mind, no Jenovians clawing at his thoughts. Just him.

Not knowing what else to do, Zeke began to walk. One foot in front of the other and he moved forward, on and on. He didn't know how long he walked for. There was no changing light to indicate time, and he never got tired. His muscles didn't protest at the constant movement, almost like walking within a dream.

Eventually, he came across something new. In the distance, he could see it standing tall above the flowers. A crystal, similar to the one that had encased Lucrecia in her cave. But this one was different. As he came closer, he realised how.

While Lucrecia's crystal had grown around her, it had grown in many directions, creating multiple crests and points and looking more like a collection than a single structure. This crystal however... this crystal was one piece. It had only two points, one on the top, and one on the bottom. It seemed to be taller at the bottom, rising up to bulge near the top before converging in a tight pointed tip. It was large, twice as tall as Sephiroth at least, hovering a few feet above the flowers on the ground. It was a pure blue, and unlike Lucrecia's crystals, it was completely opaque.

Somehow. Somehow Zeke knew what this was, what it represented, and all the fears and anger from his life faded away. This was where he was supposed to be. This was where he was _always_ supposed to be.

He came to a stop a few feet away from the beautiful sight. After a moment, he reached out and let his fingers gently touch the glassy surface.

– – – – – – – – – – –

 

**Author's Note:**

> This story was inspired by the song Angels by Within Temptation. Please listen to it if you don't already know it. It's such a perfect fit.


End file.
